I’m Baaaccckkkkkk

12 Nov

Dear Cosmic Universe,

I know it has been centuries since I wrote to you, but things have been beyond crazy in my small corner of the universe. So many old faces have come back into my world, and some new faces have surfaced. Where to begin?

Mr. A will always be in my life, that I am quite certain of.

Remember Mr. Immature? If you don’t take a moment or two to browse down the page and re-read a few of the entries. Go…right now. I am waiting. Done yet? How about now? Sigh. Now?

Haha. Well, he is back. The Wicked Witch of the Frat House has finally been squashed, the red heels taken, and she turned to dust. (insert the song from the Wizard of Oz – lol) Well…sort of. The visual makes me happy at least.

Anyway, back to the point- he finally found his spine and got rid of her. And slowly but surely, I am starting to see the old Mr. Immature that I loved so dearly. My partner in crime is back, and it’s never felt so good to see him smile.

Although, there are times I think I only have enough time or patience for Mr. A and Mr. Immature but I have two other very interesting men in my life. The Cowboy and Slick. I think my favorite part of new people entering my life is formulating a fun and interesting nickname for them.

The Cowboy- oh, he is something. He is one of those types that is sweet to the core and could melt your heart with one flash of his smile. Good old Christian boy, strong morals, close to his family – the type of guy your mommadukes would love.

Cowboy has that rugged look. His idea of dressing up is jeans and a button-up, and let me tell you…he has that look that makes you want that button-up to come off. Sigh. For the love of Versace, the man even wears cologne called Stetson…as in the hat. Even though he looks tough he is so unsure of himself, he has had his heart crushed…the type you just want to help fix.

And help fix I did. I boosted his spirits, taught him how to stand tall and reminded him what a backbone was. Until it bit me in the ass. A few months of us at odds, coupled with his heart being broken and me being the apparent “cause”, he finally pulled his head from his ass. I have my Cowboy back, but with him coming back comes a whole lot of baggage.

How are we suppose to act around each other? Do we just forget all the bitterness between us? How am I suppose to trust him again? Because it is quite evident that trust is not my strong point- always had issues with trusting people around me.

Onto Slick. This guy, he is an interesting one. To me, he is everything opposite of Mr. Immature and the Cowboy. He is a cocky little son of a gun, with an ego bigger than the room. And the first time he saw me, I knew I was screwed. He is not the type of guy I wanted to have me on their radar.

He is a sweet talking, smooth moving pain in my ass. He is everything that gives me a head ache, and it all is so intriguing. He walks in with his jelled hair and leather jacket…all tall, dark, and handsome- the swoon that follows is inevitable. But once you finally have recovered from his smooth entry you are back to hating yourself for falling for it. Ohhhh, he is good.

I guess I can never say my life is dull. Because with these four in it, it is certainly far from it.

So Cosmic Universe, what do you have in store for me now? You have given me some very interesting players…so what’s the game? What’s the next step?

Excuse me as I go searching for the answers,

Little Miss University

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Projectile Yogurt-ing?

27 Jul

Dear Cosmic Universe,

Let me vent a moment about yogurt.

Yup.

Yogurt.

Have you ever tried to open one of those little things?!

Yogurt, EVERYWHERE!

I have yet to open a container of it without wearing it or spraying it at something.

Well, today was no different as I sat at my desk- napkin in hand…waiting for the yogurt explosion.

As I sat there delicately removing the foil, praying for a miracle, in walks my breakfast buddy. She flopped on my extra chair…watching me as I fearfully opened the lid.

I even had the napkin precariously place to avoid splatter on my favorite top- but in the midst of the pulling, napkin holding, and yogurt flying…I fumbled.

The napkin fell, the foil release…and the yogurt? Ended up on me…

I sat there, utterly defeated- cursing the yogurt container and it’s contents.

I turned to see breakfast buddy laughing, as she opened her container the yogurt stayed in place. She…she was yogurt free?

My mouth flopped to the floor.

My eyes bulging from my head.

“WHAT THE EFF?!” I snapped in protest.

She just sat there, smiling as she spooned her yogurt.

Well, La Yogurt…I have a bone to pick with you and your projectile yogurt-ing!

I will no longer be a victim to your cruel and unusual games!

I have found a new yogurt! He is Greek!

And I will be picking him up…at his place- Stop&Shop, tonight.

He promised to play nice!

Who got the last laugh now?

Ha. Ha. Ha.

Excuse me, I need to wipe the yogurt off my glasses!

Little Miss University

Cosmos to the Rescue!

19 Jul

Dear Cosmic Universe,

I have found the cure for EVERYTHING! Cosmos. =]

Well…almost everything…

This past week I hibernated from the internet world on a vacation to shore with Mr. A and it was lovely! We spent our time relaxing on the beach, drinking at the beach bars- with our toes in the sand, and walking the boardwalks.

Just enjoying a couple days with each other.

Now- I do see Mr. A all the time…but unfortunately when we are done with work, and after cooking dinner- by the time we flop onto the couch to watch a show…one of us passes out from sheer exhaustion. (By “one of us” I mean him!)

Have you ever tried to have a conversation with a comatose body? Well- let me tell you, they are some of the best conversations I have with him!! I get my way, he agrees completely, and actually does respond to me…only problem?

A. He doesn’t remember when he is awake.

B. I can’t always tell if he is actually awake or asleep during them!

After all, his eyes are open and he is talking coherently! (It’s all his fault =P)

So we decided to take a mini vacation to re-charge the batteries, and spend a little awake us-time! =]

Anyway, back to my shore story.

On our last full day there- we decided to wake up at 9am and hit the beach early before any crowds gathered…with the hopes that the boardwalk would be a bit emptier. (And by “we decided” I mean- he woke me up and wouldn’t let me go back to sleep. Grr.. -.-)

Well, as Mr. A splashed around in the water, I took the opportunity to catch up on some of my reading.

As I added a thick coating of SPF30 onto my fairest of fair skin, I looked over and saw Mr. A’s little bottle of SPF 15…

Really?

He can lather up once a day with that stuff, get a nice dark tan, and barely- if in fact at all– burn.

Me, on the other hand?

I should re-apply every fifteen minutes so I don’t lobster-fy. And I don’t dare even consider SPF 15…other wise I would be re-applying every 10 mins…

Well me and my almost clear skin settled onto our blanket with a good book, The Devil in The White City. (Such an amazing book!)

Did I mention that when I was slathering the lotion on… that I was sitting?

Well, I was…and because of this…I forgot to get the entire back of my thighs.

So I flipped over onto my stomach, and immersed myself in my little piece of literary heaven.

I laid like that for 3 hours.

THREE HOURS!!!!!

Oh.my.gawd.

Needless to say, once I got back and showered- I suddenly realized my mistake.

The red, puffy sunburn was so apparent on my white skin- that Mr. A could barely hold back his laughter when he saw the streaks of pale running through the burns from my lotion covered fingers.

Hardy. Har. Har…

After the devastation had set it- Mr. A decided it was time to drown my sorrows into a pint of anything cold…and alcoholic.

That is when I decided to get my favorite drink- a Cosmopolitan.

Four later- I was feeling no pain!! =]

Although today is another story…

Excuse me, I have to go aloe my pain away!

Little Miss University

 

Impatiently Waiting…

12 Jul

Dear Cosmic Universe,

Let’s chat about doctors

Today I sat in the doctor’s office, waiting to get my last Gardasil shot. I had arrived early, signed in, paid the co-pay, and silently sat and awaited my turn. (Doesn’t sound too bad, right? Hahahahaha)

An hour passes my appointment time…I’m STILL sitting there. People who had come in a long time after me had been called in and left. So I kept sitting there…

My impatience growing with every tick of the clock above me.

An hour and a half, and three magazines later-  I get up to confront the little women behind the counter. I ask her calmly if something is wrong and why I haven’t been called in yet.

She shuffles some papers around, clicks away at her mouse, and then looks at me with this nervous expression.

When the girl took my sticker off the sign-in, someone had marked that I hadn’t shown up.

YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME?! How flipping hard is it to take the sticker off the sign-in sheet and stick it onto the “ready sheet”?! They are two inches apart! Ugh.

So I stand there…listening to her apologies…tapping my foot lightly so that I don’t lose my temper…until she tells me it will be another 30 minute wait.  -.-

Fine.

I’ll wait.

For another 30 minutes.

Not like I haven’t missed enough work today.

Not like I need the paychecks or anything.

Take you time.

Yup.

This is me waiting.

Impatiently.

Pissed off.

And very frustrated.

But, alas, I wait.

So I sat back down, in the cream-colored room…with the bajillion magazines…and soap opera playing in the background.

Thirty minutes turned into forty…at this point…I hated magazines, the color cream, and if I had to listen to another second of that soap…my ears may bleed.

FINALLY! They call me in…give me the shot…and minutes later I am walking out the door.

I waited for over two hours for a 5 minute shot?!

TWO HOURS!

for 5 MINUTES!

Ugh.

Next time, I’ll stick my own damn name on the “ready sheet”!

Frustrated-ly yours,

Little Miss University

Hysterics, Heels, and Puppy-face

7 Jul

Dear Cosmic Universe,

I’ve got a bone to pick with you!

As I sat here looking at my e-mail, waiting for a few programs to do their thing, I came across a blog.

Absolutely hysterical!

This girl tells it how it is, simply talking about the hysterical moments in her family that make like so enjoyable.

Multiple times I had to stifle a laugh or and “OMGosh”.

As I was reading about her crazy dog and his taste for stuffed animals I sat back sipping my Tazo Tea..thinking about my own little fluffy terrorist at home.

Puppy-face, as I mostly refer to her, has a thing for stuffed cats. I mean, what dog doesn’t hate cats?! But my damn, Puppy-face HATES them.

Up to now I only thought she terrorized stuffed animals…until I stretched my legs out and was scratched by my heel.

Not a normal scratch from the bottom of the shoe…but from the heel itself!

That little…fluff ball… had chewed my heel!

What had I done for karma to have taken it out on my heels?! Was this for saying I would throw my co-worker’s mooing computer out of the window?! If it is, fine. I accept it!

But Karma, you don’t understand how insanely grating that moo has become! (It just went off…I swear I am developing a twitch!)

-sigh-

Excuse me, I need to find some Alieve…

I suddenly feel like today is going to be a rough one!

Little Miss University

Questions Answered!

7 Jul

Hello Everyone,

I recently received a message from a reader…asking why I go by Little Miss University if I am out in the corporate field. So I thought I would answer her question here- in case anyone else was wondering the same.

Well…how else would I pay for school?! haha Just like most college kids- we gotta make a buck!

So I sit in my desk chair, five days a week…overlooking a city road- scrounging and saving every penny I make to pay for classes and nights out with Mr. A. Although…I do like that he pays on most of our outings- but this is a partnership! Gotta do my share too! =]

But that will be our little secret.

Graduation is rapidly approaching-  but alas, have no fear!

I will be going for my masters!

Won’t be rid of me just yet!!

-Little Miss University

Office Buildings and…Cows?!

6 Jul

Dear Cosmic Universe,

Let’s talk about sounds.

There are beautiful sounds- chirping birds, the delicate humming of bees in a meadow, the soft gurgle of a brook.

Annoying sounds? The mooing currently coming out of a fellow employee’s computer. Last time I checked we were in an office building…not on a farm. And she is not Farmer Brown.

To piss off our boss she has set an alarm on her computer to go off every fifteen flipping minutes so she can can keep track of how long she works on her projects.

Fine. Great ideahell, maybe more of us should. May help us to work more efficiently.

My problem with it? That I can hear it all the way down at the reception desk- fifty feet away from her office.

Even bigger issue with it? My desk in on the other side of a paper-thin wall from her infernal mooing!!!

Imagine…sitting at your desk, with no other noise then a light hum from the air conditioner and all. of. the. sudden. you hear-

MOOOOOOOOOOOO MOOOOOOOOOOOOO MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Kinda kills your thought process doesn’t it? …So suddenly you are abruptly shaken from your thought while writing an important proposal, by the sound of an electronic moo.

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! (While writing this blog, I have heard the damn thing go off twice!!)

I am about seconds from throwing that computer out of her window, with her along for the ride. Trust me, I would be doing the office a favor

No cows were harmed during the writing of this blog!

Little Moooooo That’s not right…

Little Miss University